1. Beliefs

Research has shown that teachers’ beliefs are far more influential than knowledge in determining teachers ’planning, decision-making, and interactions with students thus influencing students’ learning (Davis & Andrzejewski, 2009). Indeed, the kind of beliefs we hold about our students and how they proceed with their learning not only affects the way we approach teaching but also our relationship with them.

Your intent is to support your students to learn. That’s the GOAL of teaching. However, the kind of beliefs you hold may push you to make decisions that will draw them away from learning instead of empowering them.

For instance, thinking that simplifying things and introducing students to less challenging tasks would make them feel more comfortable learning with us and interested in what we’re doing, can actually make us seem less professional or unable to bring what is more valuable and worth learning into the classroom.

If doing most of the talking, repeating, and keeping all students on task is what constitutes effective practices for us, we’ll deprive our students of saying a word in class, making choices, and feeling more concerned about their learning. So, no surprise in case any conflict with students arises because we’ve already created a gap where communication is alien while misunderstanding and confusion prevail.

Teachers’ belief systems are rooted in various sources. These include their own experience as learners, and teachers, personal factors educationally based or research-based principles, and principles derived from an instructional approach or method (Richards & Lockhardt, 1994).

But, others’ beliefs can also influence us. I still remember my colleague’s words about that class when I told her that I was going to teach them this year. “They don’t interact in the classroom, they’re not that good, don’t expect much from them, I know them very well,” she said.

I can’t deny that I accepted this as THE TRUTH though I had not seen them yet. So, I felt a bit demotivated and went the other day to those students holding in mind that belief and expecting myself to make much effort to make them at least participate.

However, on that day I became completely convinced that what others say or believe can be misleading. What we experience can tell us about the truth. The students I thought would barely say a word in my classroom are so interactive and I’m so empowered by their enthusiasm and interest to learn more.

Every session I’m spending with them I think to myself that those beliefs I had before meeting them would have made me reluctant even to try to make them engaged in learning, accepting that this would lead to no positive outcome.

So, never let any belief or assumption dictates your decisions and actions. Observe, learn more about your students, and think about how to build and sustain good relationships.

2. Emotions

Teachers’ emotions also play a decisive role in teacher-student relationships. Teachers experience different emotions during their work which are triggered by multiple factors and their interplay.

Empirical findings showed that though teachers interact with different people (colleagues, parents, etc.), their interactions with their students seem to be the most powerful in terms of evoking positive or negative emotions (e.g. Sutton & Wheatley,2003).

Negative teacher emotions (e.g., anger, frustration, etc.) were found to be engendered by lack of classroom discipline (Tsouloupas et al. 2010) while their positive emotions can be attributed to positive interactions with students such as showing appreciation for the teacher’s work, and being actively engaged in learning (Hargreaves, 2001).

Because we often feel exhausted and overwhelmed with much work, we may let our emotions rule over us instead of self-regulating them. A moment of anger or irritation can wreck our relationship with students, making them take a different stance away from appreciation and respect.

So, for positive teacher-student relationships self-regulate, and think before you act, or make any decision. Understand the ‘why’ of students’ behaviours, avoid taking things personally, and keep on REFLECTING to sort out issues.

3. Words

To build positive teacher-student relationships we need to care about our words. Because these can determine the kind of relationship we have with our students. To what extent? To a great extent. They can either take students’ learning further or be detrimental.

We may not realize this. Maybe because we’re so talkative in the classroom, trying to explain things and direct students’ learning.

So, selecting carefully our words while interacting with them may not be always the case. This is mainly when our energy gets drained or the unexpected occurs.

There are even cases where we have no intention of discouraging students, belittling them, or inducing any negative feelings, but our choice of words gets us wrong and so we end up in conflict with them.

So, all our efforts to maintain good relationships with students and those moments we spent celebrating shared respect, support, and care can fade away in a few minutes if we just say inappropriate WORDS.

Therefore, remember always that one word from you can change not only your students’ perceptions about you as a teacher but also their attitudes towards you and the learning of your subject matter. So, use your words to empower your students’ learning.

To support you to achieve this, check out this guide: How to Use Your Words to Empower Students to Learn at their Best. You’ll learn about the kind of language you should avoid in certain situations and what you should say instead to boost your students’ learning. Click here to learn more.

4. Attitudes

Our attitudes are important in teacher-student relationships because they tell us about who we are more than words. You can’t motivate your students to do well if your attitudes display no passion for teaching and learning.

Your smile, the glitter in your eyes, and the energy that spreads out once you get into the classroom are what indicate your passion for the job.

Your students can see this as well in your patience and persistence to take them to the shore of progress and achievement. This will make them more excited and interested in what you teach.

Besides, we all know that learning is an endless process. Yet, show your students that this is a vital source for you to thrive not just in your career but also in your life. This will expand their vision of what learning is and needs to be for every one of them.

You can fuel that love of lifelong learning by making clear your interest in reading, and in learning more from your students. This is through sparking their curiosity with questions and tasks that go beyond that content and promoting that culture of Sharing New Learning for the benefit of all.

You can also show your interest in learning from colleagues and other teachers (networking, attending conferences, and sharing what you’ve learned with your students).

By doing so, you’re not just building connections with students, but inducing a lasting impact called INSPIRATION.

Your attitudes towards your students also matter your body language including your eye contact, reactions, and everything you do in class. When these are defined by POWER, students’ LEARNING is no longer your priority as control becomes your main intent, energy focus, and source of worry and overthinking.

I know you need that quiet atmosphere to help your students learn. No teacher can work effectively in noise and chaos. But, control can be teachers’ obsession when power is seen as the only means to bring that serenity into the classroom. In such cases, students are deprived of those moments where they are more spontaneous, expressing themselves, interacting with their peers, and exploring their learning potential.

So, instead of thinking of how much control we need to exert in the classroom, we should think more about how to make our students more engaged and empowered to take their learning further.

If you want to develop and maintain good teacher-student relationships, watch out for your beliefs, emotions, words, and attitudes and reflect on them. You’ll learn more about yourself, and your students and how you need to improve more those relationships.

References
Davis, H., & Andrzejewski, C. (2009). Teacher beliefs. The Gale Group. Retrieved from: http://www.education.com/reference/article/teacher-beliefs/#D,.(01-23-2012)

Hargreaves, A. (2001). Emotional geographies of teaching. The Teachers College Record, 103(6), 1056-1080. Retrieved from: http://www.tcrecord.org/Content.asp?contentid=10838

Richards, J. C., & Lockhart, C. (1994). Reflective teaching in second language classroom. Cambridge: CUP.
Sutton, R. E., & Wheatley, K. F. (2003). Teachers’ emotions and teaching: A review of the literature and directions for future research. Educational Psychology Review,15, (4),327-358.
Tsouloupas, C. N., Carson, R. L., Matthews, R., Grawitch, M. J. & Barber, L. K. (2010). Exploring the association between teachers’ perceived student misbehaviour and emotional exhaustion: The importance of teacher efficacy beliefs and emotion regulation. Educational Psychology, 30(2), 173-189. Retrieved from: http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/01443410903494460