Building a strong connection with your students’ parents is necessary to empower their learning. Yet, you may feel worried about conferences with parents. You are thinking about how to tell them about their children’s misbehaviour, failure, or whatever issue is driving you up the wall

But, you dread their reactions. You want to help and you’re afraid to get misunderstood and be disrespected.

You don’t want to be in a self-defence position because you know you are here to support students to learn and you are doing all your best to achieve this goal. There is no need for explaining or justifying things.

So, how to stop worrying about meeting parents and connect with them more effectively?

If you want to avoid all the kinds of troubles you can have with parents try to establish a relationship through creating effective communication. To do so, get them INVOLVED.

Get parents involved

Getting parents involved with their children’s education does not mean letting them interfere in your job, dictating what you should do, how you should do it, and even how you should behave with their children.

Their involvement includes supporting their children to learn at home, communicating any physical and/or psychological problems their children are experiencing, and providing a helping hand when learning expectations are not met and classroom behaviours go against the norms.

Because parents are much closer to their children and have more control over them, they can support us in achieving certain goals or sort out issues that consume our time and energy and make us stressed.

But, how to get parents involved without crossing those boundaries that define our choices and identity as teachers?

Setting up clearly those boundaries with parents has to be your objective from the beginning of the year. Don’t wait until you hear their judgments and then you respond: ‘This is my job. I’m not interfering in yours’.

Why not avoid all the troubles of hearing things that we can’t stand and feeling frustrated and unworthy? So, connect with parents constantly to clarify things and tell them what kind of teachers YOU are. This will help you set and maintain those boundaries which make you more comfortable and secure.

Here are 3 strategies for successful parent-teacher communication.

# 1. Set your communication channels from the start

Invite all parents to a ‘Get to Know Each Other Workshop ’ during the first weeks of school.

Introduce yourself, and talk about your perspectives as a teacher and the learning outcomes of your subject matter.

This kind of workshop is also an opportunity to clarify how you will work together to support their children to learn better: how you’ll confer with them and how often, and the kind of tools you’ll rely on to keep them updated (apps, students’ portfolios, etc.) and how they’re expected to help you (attending conferences, sending emails to communicate issues, etc).

Besides, it’s important to listen to parents’ expectations and answer their questions.

If you’re interested in knowing about your students, so this is your chance! You can ask each parent to write a short profile of their child so that you can refer to such information later on. (See below MY CHILD PROFILE)

Such a kind of meeting is so important mainly at the beginning of the year. It’s not only going to help you know about those parents and their children and let parents know each other but also develop a good rapport with them and clear up any misconceptions or doubts on their part.

To this end, being professional, self-confident (not cocky), and showing interest in our job are the kind of impressions we need to make on parents after such meetings.

If your school does not allow for such kinds of meetings, you can send letters to parents via mail or simply ask each student to hand them to his parent. This letter includes ‘ABOUT ME‘ and ‘MY CHILD PROFILE‘. The latter needs to be completed by the parent and sent back to you.

#2. Make your parent-teacher conference more successful

Another strategy for successful parent-teacher communication is making your parent-teacher conference outstanding. This is a good opportunity to meet each parent’s child individually and work together to support him to succeed. To make that conference more successful, you need to focus on these 5 essential elements :

1. Get prepared

Getting prepared for the conference is required because it reflects how professional you are. You can focus on the necessary points, justify your ideas, and make clear your goals.

Not only this! When you’re well-prepared you get more confident to talk to parents, answer all their questions, and come to an agreement (action plan) with them.

To get ready for your next parent-teacher conference here is your  PRE-CONFERENCE FORM.

2. Create an inviting environment

To connect with parents, you need to focus your attention and concern on the student’s progress. Schedule your conference and inform the parent about it in advance by texting or emailing them.

Tell them briefly about the objective of the conference and the main points you intend to tackle. Let them know where this meeting will take place and how long it will last.

It is necessary to remind them that their presence is so important and you count a lot on their sense of responsibility and collaboration to make their child more successful at school.

Respect your schedule, do not let parents wait for you.  Welcome the parent and sit on the same side of the table. Explain things, but also give the parent opportunities to speak.

3. Clarify the issue

Start off with the positive attributes of the student and the kind of learning potential he has. Then you can move on to talk about the learning difficulties or issues he’s facing.

Avoid comparing that student with the rest of his classmates, blaming the parent, and being negative.

So, instead of saying: ‘The majority of students got good marks. I’m afraid you’re not supporting your child at home. If she persists in neglecting to turn in homework she will never succeed’.

Tell the parent: ’Mary can do better, she has great potential. I’m sure we can both help her overcome her difficulties. Our collaboration will make a great difference to her learning.

Explain clearly the context: what happened, how, and why you think it took place. Provide evidence to help the parent figure out how their child is progressing or what hurdles he’s facing.

Show them some examples of the student’s work (progress report, homework, project, exam, test, etc) and explain why he got that grade.

4. Look for opportunities for help

After depicting the issue, tell the parent what would help their child improve. Explain how they can help at home. Suggest concrete and practical actions.

So, if Mary needs to improve her writing, clarify what strategies she needs to develop and how both you and the parent need to support her.

Listen to the parent and try to find out together opportunities for help. Plan for actions with him/her, making clear your targeted goals and the tools to achieve them.

Remember: Seek connection NOT power. Try to develop and maintain communication that is devoid of arguing and imposing views. And show the parent your concern about the student’s progress.

5. Reflect

After finishing off with your meeting with the parent, note down the essential points or fill in this  POST-CONFERENCE FORM.

Reflect on that action plan and what you need to focus on to support that student to improve. Also, think about the next meeting and if you need to invite your principal, a colleague, or an administrator.

Do not forget to send a message or email to thank the parent for attending that conference and being collaborative.

Some issues with parent-teacher conferences :

When parents do not show up at those scheduled conferences, don’t get frustrated. You’re doing all what you can to support their children to learn at their best.

You can send them letters telling them more about the issues their children are having, that you feel sorry because they missed a good opportunity to collaborate and you hope to see them in the next meeting.

For those intense or difficult parents, stay calm and professional while talking to them and seek your administration’s support to feel more secure.

Remember that whenever you meet a parent, get your evidence and know well the ‘why’ behind every statement you say. Be self-confident and never second-guess yourself. This is your job, the one you love, you’re dedicated to and learning from.

#3. Keep parents informed

It’s necessary to share student data with parents regularly, not just at a conference or meeting to keep them informed of their children’s progress.

There are different communication apps that you can use for this purpose such as Blooms, Remind, etc. (to learn more read 14 Essential Educational Apps for Teachers)

Still, send parents useful information that shows clearly how their children are learning so that they can figure out how to get involved. So, be selective.

If your school allows for parent visits during class time, it would be a great idea to invite them to student-led conferences where they can listen to their children discussing their own strengths and weaknesses and the goals they’ve set to progress.

Parents can also attend students’ project presentations. This can be a source of motivation for their children to do better.

Another way to keep parents updated is by inviting them to workshops. In addition to ‘Get to know Each Other Workshop’, you can schedule two other workshops or ‘Track Progress Workshops’ (in the middle and end of the year).

The aim is to share and discuss: data about how the entire class is learning, field trips, projects, parties, etc.

To communicate effectively with parents be proactive rather than defensive: get them INVOLVED. Make this your intent from the beginning of the year. So, schedule Get to know Each Other Workshop or send a letter to let the parent know about you.

Plan to make your conferences more successful and keep parents informed throughout the year, using simple and easy-to-use tools.

To conclude, these were the strategies for successful parent-teacher communication. You can build quality relationships with parents and free yourself from all worries.