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3 Important Ideas for The First Week of School:
Cultivating Meaningful Relationships with Students

Last Updated 22 September 2023/ By Zineb DJOUB

Cultivating meaningful relationships with students needs to be our intent from the first week of school, from the moment we meet our students and utter those first words in the classroom. That moment is decisive because it determines who we are in the eyes of our students and thus how the teaching and learning process is likely to proceed along the whole year.

Building such relationships is not just a matter of knowing our students’ names, and smiling at them. But it is more about connecting with them where mutual respect, trust, shared responsibilities, and communication prevail. Effective teachers are those who successfully make and maintain this connection.

Though there is no clear-cut formula for how to cultivate meaningful relationships with students, this skill can be honed through one essential practice: valuing students.

When we value students they become our priority. We think about them before anything else: When planning for instructions, reflecting on our practices, making decisions, etc., and we take actions to further their learning. No matter what their level of intelligence, aptitude, and learning capacities are, we need to value them because we have to believe in their potential and because their learning and future mean a lot to us.

In turn, when students feel that they are at the core of our concerns, they show more respect, interest in learning, and commitment to making progress. They also trust us and feel more secure and comfortable learning. But, how to value our students and show it clearly to them?

Here is what you need to do to achieve this purpose.

Care

Caring about our students does not only mean preparing lessons and explaining well, but it has to do more with being concerned with their hearts, i.e., how they feel about their learning process, how they are getting along with it, and how much progress they are making.

Your eye contact is the first indicator of whether you care about your students or not. When you look into the eyes of your students while explaining instructions, communicating feedback, or listening to them, you are conveying that concern.

Talking to students about their learning is also a sign of care. The most common sentence I repeat over the year is « You CAN succeed ». This is the most powerful sentence you can utter in the classroom from the first day of school. If you say it in a tone that shows you believe in your students and you expect a lot from them, you will see clearly later on the energy and efforts students generate from this talk.

The more opportunities you provide for students to talk about their learning needs and interests the more you strengthen your relationship because you are caring.

Your care becomes more apparent or visible when you make efforts to support your students to learn, thereby sorting out their difficulties and concerns. Your students can also see how much you care about them in your passion for knowing them (to learn more check out My Profile) in order to differentiate instructions and meet their needs. Acknowledging and appreciating students’ efforts also conveys caring.

Besides, your care becomes limitless when you find ways to connect with students beyond the classroom walls (using emails, classroom blogs, etc.). Communicating regularly with parents about how their children are learning, and attending with them extra-curricular activities can also extend the scope of your concern.

Respect

Valuing students embodies respecting them. This is necessary to build relationships with them. We expect our students to be respectful to us. Therefore, we should be respectful all the time. This must be our professional trait, not a state that depends on the type of students we have or our circumstances. Once we get into school, our words and attitudes are bound by certain rules and principles of the profession.

What supports you in maintaining this professional trait is being more patient, showing understanding of students’ differences, and interacting positively with them in whatever situations (avoiding screaming or yelling, humiliating, using sarcasm, threats, etc.).

However, respecting students does not only entail communicating and interacting properly with them, but it also means considering their views, decisions, and choices in learning. Indeed, providing opportunities for students to speak up, make choices, and share ideas are all practices indicating your respect.

Also, being available to students counts a lot. Devoting time to students to listen to their inquiries and figuring out ways to support them are all attitudes showing your care and respect to them as individuals who have personal problems and as learners who are coping with learning issues.

Invite

When you value students you invite them into your teaching. This means you call upon their involvement, contributions, initiatives, and productivity because these contribute to their learning.

Going over expectations and procedures requires students’ involvement to understand them. So, invite them to explain them, design and draw flashcards, post them in the classroom, etc (To learn about effective classroom procedures, read Classroom Procedures that Matter)

Also, give your students certain freedom to make choices with regard to what they learn (lessons, tasks, and materials they see relevant to their learning) and how they learn (the way these are to be integrated into teaching).

Students need to see their contributions valued. So, take these into account while making decisions, praise and reward students’ efforts. When you do so, you are not just helping students believe in themselves but you are boosting their desire for self-fulfilment.

Inviting students into your teaching requires a safe learning environment. From the first week of school, students need to feel and understand that there is no fear of taking risks: participating, voicing ideas, and trying new things. Within such an environment, mistakes are allowed and worked out, difficulties and interests are communicated in class, learning is shared, creativity is praised and opportunities for progress are ample and available to all students.

It is so important to create a sense of community where students feel that they are part of your teaching. Not only do their contributions matter but also their feedback and suggestions regarding your teaching are required. When you seek such kind of feedback you are reinforcing the sense of belonging to this community and thus being committed to its growth.

Valuing students is the key to cultivating meaningful relationships with them. Caring about all of them and showing how much you care at all times without pretending means you value them. Valuing also involves respecting them and encouraging their involvement. You can cultivate meaningful relationships with your students, making your teaching more admirable and learning more enjoyable and rewarding for them.